College: Expectations vs. Reality - Navigating the Transition to Adulthood

The transition to college is often portrayed as a pivotal moment, a gateway to independence and self-discovery. Many students anticipate gaining control over their lives - their schedules, social activities, academic pursuits, and emotional well-being. They look forward to celebrating their entrance into adulthood. While college undoubtedly offers exciting opportunities, the reality can differ significantly from these expectations. This article explores the common expectations students have about college and contrasts them with the actual experiences, offering insights and advice for navigating this transformative period.

The Illusion of Complete Control

Many students look forward to being in control of their time, their social calendar, their academic responsibilities, and their emotional balance. It feels good to be in control. The anticipation of managing one's own life is a significant draw for prospective college students. However, the reality is often more complex. Juggling competing priorities is challenging. These aren’t life-altering decisions, but the never-ending need to make seemingly insignificant choices that shape your life can be a challenge and can challenge your sense of control.

Seeking Guidance and Support

For students who find the transition overwhelming, resources like Health and Wellness departments can provide valuable support. Health and Wellness is the USF department that offers free success and wellness coaching to all fee-paying students. Coaches are trained and certified through a nationally accredited program to help students set and achieve wellness goals. Wellness coaches work with students to begin taking steps to make the changes they want in their lives. Coaches allow students to control how that experience will look for them.

Motivation for change often is linked to the ability to see and believe in one’s ability to change. Coaches ask students to spend time visualizing and exploring what it would be like to work toward and reach their goals. How would it look for you to be more physically active? This type of visualization is helpful because it clarifies goals that have not been fully formed. A common example is when people say they want to work out more. Working out can be anything from dancing to weightlifting to playing tennis. Turn to a success and wellness coach for help and you can expect nonjudgmental and unbiased support as you move through your change and growth process.

Academic Expectations vs. Academic Realities

One of the biggest adjustments students face is the increased academic rigor of college. The workload in college is different from high school. Many students have been told stories of what to expect for their workload, student life, and classroom expectations.

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Increased Workload and Independence

The common advice students receive is, for an average class, you should be spending about twelve hours of independent study time per week in order to receive a good grade. This meant that, for a student like me who took three to four classes every quarter, I was expected to study for a total of thirty-six to forty-eight hours per week. 36 to 48 hours! That’s like binge watching 96 episodes of Friends every week. Or 45 episodes of Stranger Things! It’s a lot. Needless to say, this required me to sacrifice some sleep in order to finish homework. On top of that, I constantly had a stacked schedule of quizzes, midterms, group projects, and assignment deadlines to meet every single week.

(Sophomore, Business and Marketing Education Student): I would say the academics are at different levels in college and high school. In high school, I didn’t have to try hard at all. If I’m taking 15 credits and don’t study for that 40 hours that you’re supposed to, I’m not going to get that grade that I want. The academics are intense and leave you with no social life. You’re always studying and always going to class and you’re always drained. (First Year, Undecided Student): You have to work hard or else you fail. You have to balance it. Sometimes if you do want to have a social life, you have to pull those all nighters. It’s really unhealthy . (Senior, Elementary Education Student): I do want to make sure people know that different majors come with different times for studying. Some saying they spend 40 hours a week sound very crazy to me. (Sophomore, Genetics Student): In high school be glad that the teachers are chasing after you to turn in your assignments. Right now, unless you have small classes, your teachers will rarely check in.

Unlike high school, colleges will offer classes that take place outside of typical school hours. There could be class options scheduled as early as 7:00AM, to as late as 8:00 PM. On top of this, professors can schedule final exams on a date and time outside of the usual class meeting time. For example, I had a class that met on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 11:00AM to 12:30PM, but our final exam was scheduled on a Friday at 5:00PM.

However, this increased independence also means students are responsible for managing their time and workload effectively. You’ll be more in control of how to manage your time than you could’ve imagined, and you’ll, for the most part, become absorbed by what you do.

Prioritizing and Seeking Support

Knowing that my obligations to God should take first place in my life, the thought of missing worship service due to a final exam just never sat well with me. Prayer did wonders for me as a bustling student. Whenever I felt like I couldn’t handle my class load anymore or felt like giving up on an assignment, I found a quiet place at my on-campus library to pray. Just being able to talk to God in the midst of my worries was an amazing blessing, and brought me the comfort I needed to pick myself back up, and face the challenges ahead of me again.

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Social Life: Instant Friends and the Reality of Loneliness

College is often portrayed as a time of vibrant social life, where making friends is effortless. There is a thrill that comes with being surrounded by people experiencing everything you are too, and a desperate need for acceptance that you hadn’t felt since middle school. I used to be terrified of eating alone in the dining halls, and apparently so were many. We would scan the room anxiously, with plates in hand, hoping to make eye contact with a stranger who would seem inviting enough to sit across from.

Building Meaningful Connections

However, the reality is that forming deep and lasting friendships takes time and effort. You’re not a failure if it takes you a few months, joining a couple of clubs, and suffering through multiple group projects to find the people that mean the most to you. Then suddenly, you’re in the car with those same hooligans that have changed your life, singing Ariana Grande at the top of your lungs, asking yourself: if this is college, what the hell was I so afraid of?

Overcoming Isolation

Even at a large university, students feel isolated and lonely. Many students expressed that they felt this. You are not alone.

(Junior, Youth Studies Student): Being a commuter student is so different in terms of college experiences. I feel like there is a sense of disconnection. Everyone has access to the rest of the campus and they can get around so easily. To get to events, you have to deliberately take the time to plan and go to those events. It's an added obstacle. Your social life, I think, looks different. (Junior, Youth Studies Student): I didn’t realize how individualized college is or can be. You have to always advocate for yourself. Especially, if you come from a more marginalized background. You often have to prove yourself amongst your peers. Not so much professors, but amongst your peers. You never know what you don’t know. There are so many resources and opportunities but it’s a matter of getting connected to them. (First Year, Undecided Student): When I first came I was used to the idea of being independent, but as time went on, I started to realize the importance of community because it started to set in, the loneliness. (Sophomore, Genetics Student): Making friends can be hard… My biggest challenge was finding people who I can vibe with instead of feeling like I’m always in competition with them.

It’s important to talk about the parts of college that no one prepares you for. No matter how perfect a certain destination may seem, no experience comes without its challenges.

Freedom and Independence: The Double-Edged Sword

College life is certainly a step up in terms of personal autonomy. There can be pros and cons: on the one hand, the lack of immediate parental support can be daunting. On the other, if you decide one day that you want to have ice cream for dinner… no one’s gonna stop you. You get used to figuring things out for yourself a bit more.

Homesickness and Adjustment

For most though, the first three-ish months of being away from family will test you. It’ll make you the kind of homesick you swore you’d never be. The kind that’s overly sentimental about pictures of Michael Scott’s face because you know they’re watching The Office without you. I’ve found that during moments of stress is when homesickness feels heaviest, when the rose-colored glasses of Welcome Week are off. It’s normal to miss the comfort of the hometown you were so quick to detach from at first. Just know that it’s mostly because your university hasn’t become your second home yet, and it eventually will.

You’ll have to adjust to a new life not surrounded by people you’ve loved since day one. It’s okay if that takes more effort than you’d expected.

Embracing Change and Growth

College is an exciting time. to: Not only in terms of academic growth, but personal growth as well. This is the time to make strides toward your career goals, make friends with similar interests, and learn more about the “real world.” In college, you are in control of your education. You choose what classes to take, how many, and even what time (like no classes before 9AM)! Consequently, this is also the time when you have to take ownership over all of your decisions. All of them. I know from experience how overwhelming these choices can feel, especially when they present themselves all at the same time.

College was the time for me to build good habits and discover who I was as an individual. Being a college student is truly a wonderful, memorable experience. Some days will be fantastic! Other days you might feel like a failure. Ultimately, college will be challenging. But what has helped me as a Christian navigating through the ups and downs of college life is knowing that I’ll never have to face a trial that I can’t handle. Why? Because I’ve got God on my side.

Practical Tips for Navigating the Transition

Take advantage of resources: Utilize campus resources like wellness coaching, academic advising, and tutoring services.
Prioritize self-care: Make time for activities that promote your physical and mental well-being, such as exercise, hobbies, and spending time with loved ones.
Get involved: Join clubs, organizations, or sports teams to connect with like-minded individuals and build a sense of community.
Be patient: Adjusting to college takes time, so be patient with yourself and allow yourself to make mistakes.
Seek support: Don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or counselors when you're struggling.

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