Navigating the Complex Terrain of Professor-Student Relationships
The dynamics between professors and students are a critical component of the higher education experience, shaping not only academic outcomes but also personal and professional development. These relationships, however, are multifaceted and often fraught with ethical considerations, power imbalances, and societal expectations. This article explores the complexities inherent in professor-student relationships, drawing upon existing research, personal experiences, and evolving perspectives on issues such as romantic involvement, friendship, and the impact of power dynamics.
Introduction: A Personal Reflection on Boundaries
When embarking on my academic career, I was assigned a senior colleague as a mentor, a common practice intended to guide junior faculty through the intricacies of academic life. During one of our meetings, the topic of teacher-student relationships arose. My colleague stated unequivocally that any sexual or romantic involvement with a student, whether graduate or undergraduate, was inappropriate and should be avoided. This advice, while sound, was somewhat ironic, as this colleague was in a long-term, seemingly successful relationship with a former graduate student. The possibility of such a relationship had never occurred to me, and the conversation stemmed from my uncertainty about how to support a student whose mother was dying.
Over the years, my relationships with students have been largely distant, reflecting my general approach to relationships. I tend to avoid social gatherings with students, including university-related events, formal dinners, and post-lecture socializing, except for course-related discussions. While colleagues may invite students to informal dinners or celebrate the start or end of a term, I find such events awkward and unpleasant.
This approach may stem from a desire to avoid conflating different relationship styles, personal social awkwardness, or a belief that one should not reveal too much of oneself to students. This raises a crucial question: What constitutes the ideal relationship between a professor and a student? While much of the literature focuses on the ethics of romantic or sexual relationships and friendships, this article aims to explore the broader spectrum of professor-student relationships and identify the elements that contribute to a positive and productive learning environment.
The Ethical Landscape of Relationships
Humans engage in numerous relationships throughout their lives, and these interactions play a crucial role in shaping our moral conscience. Philosophers and social scientists, such as Stephen Darwall, Michael Tomasello, and Lawrence Kohlberg, have emphasized the importance of social relationships in moral and ethical reasoning. While some ethical rules apply universally, others are specific to certain relationships, such as the duty of confidentiality between lawyers and clients or doctors and patients.
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The teacher-student relationship is unique among many others, such as parent-child, doctor-patient, boss-employee, siblings, friends, and lovers. One way to approach the ethics of these relationships is to consider their purpose or telos, which informs the respective duties of the parties involved. For example, the doctor-patient relationship aims to improve the patient's health, necessitating honesty from the patient and competence from the doctor.
While some relationships serve multiple goals, focusing solely on goals can seem contrary to their ethical character. Friendships, for instance, serve purposes like companionship and support, but reducing them to these purposes can feel instrumentalizing. Nevertheless, the teacher-student relationship can be viewed through a teleological lens, with the primary goal of educating the student. The duties of both parties should align with this goal, with the teacher bearing a greater responsibility due to the inherent power asymmetry, similar to the doctor-patient dynamic.
However, this perspective presents challenges:
- Vague Purpose: The concept of education is broad and subject to interpretation. Is it about knowledge transfer, credentialing, critical thinking, citizenship, or self-discovery? Each of these goals may warrant a different approach to the relationship.
- Overlapping Relationships: Individuals often have multiple relationships with the same people, such as friendships with colleagues or parents teaching their children. This overlap complicates ethical analysis. Is it always wrong to pursue different kinds of relationships simultaneously?
- Analogical Reasoning: People often use analogies between relationships to determine ethical rules. For example, comparing the teacher-student relationship to a parent-child relationship versus a boss-employee relationship can lead to different conclusions about appropriate behavior.
The overlapping of different relationship types and its impact on the purpose of the teacher-student relationship is a particularly contentious issue in existing literature.
The Shadow of Romance: Navigating Sexual Relationships
The ethics of sexual relationships between teachers and students has dominated discussions in this field. William Deresiewicz notes that the image of the morally corrupt professor who sleeps with students is a common trope, reflecting a deeper cultural and intellectual concern.
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Recent revelations of sexual harassment and assault by professors, along with institutional cover-ups, highlight the prevalence of this problem. While sexual harassment and assault differ from consensual relationships, the line can be blurred in teacher-student interactions. Although some such relationships may be successful, the inherent power dynamics raise significant concerns.
- Power Asymmetry: Teachers hold more power within the institutional context, possessing knowledge and skills that students are meant to acquire. This power extends to evaluation and future opportunities. While the question of whether this asymmetry necessarily invalidates consent is complex, it introduces an implicit threat.
- Unjust Sex: Drawing on Ann Cahill's concept of "unjust sex," even consensual relationships can be problematic if the weaker party's sexual agency is compromised by the power dynamic. The weaker party may feel pressured to signal consent to gain approval, even if they have limited choices.
- Harmful Outcomes: Empirical research suggests that these relationships can have long-term negative consequences for the weaker party. A systematic review by Fredrik Bondestam and Maja Lundqvist found that exposure to sexual harassment in higher education leads to physical, psychological, and professional harm.
The Teacher-Student Relationship: Quality, Consequences, and Antecedents
Research on the teacher-student relationship in higher education examines its quality, consequences, and antecedents, highlighting the need to address its multi-dimensional and context-bound nature. Baumeister and Leary's "belongingness hypothesis" suggests that humans are fundamentally motivated by a need to form and maintain enduring interpersonal attachments. This concept is particularly relevant in the university context, where the teacher-student relationship can significantly impact students' adjustment and success.
While research on teacher-student relationships is well-established in primary and secondary education, it is less comprehensive in higher education. The significance of this relationship for university teaching, particularly in the context of "Scholarship in Teaching and Learning," warrants further investigation. National studies, such as the National Student Survey (GB), the National Survey of Student Engagement (USA), and the Course Experience Survey (AUS), touch upon aspects of this relationship but often indirectly.
Prior research on teacher-student relationships draws from various traditions, including educational and psychological theories and communication research. However, the field is under-explored and lacks clearly defined conceptual frameworks. Many studies focus on teacher-student interactions without addressing the quality of the relationship. While the frequency of interactions can indicate a better relationship and increased connection to the university, it does not guarantee positive outcomes.
Despite these challenges, studies on teacher-student relationships offer insights into its quality. Instruments like the Teacher-student-Relationship Scale (Pianta, 2001) distinguish between dimensions of closeness, conflict, and dependency. However, the application of concepts from school-related research to higher education is limited, as university relationships are formed between adults in more fragmented settings. The dimension of "dependency," for example, is less relevant as students become more independent learners.
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The teacher-student relationship is also context-dependent. Cultural differences, such as those between Chinese and British teachers (Hsieh, 2012), and the experiences of international students (Zhou, Jindal-Snape, Topping, & Todman, 2008) influence perceptions of the relationship. The subject being studied also plays a role, with psychology students valuing personal relationships with teachers more than business students (Sander, Stevenson, King, & Coates, 2000). Even within the same teacher, practices may vary depending on the course format (Lindblom-Ylänne et al., 2006).
This context-dependency makes defining the teacher-student relationship challenging. The affective dimension, which includes aspects like honesty, trust, and respect, is crucial. "Care for students" is a humanistic value, but its relevance in higher education is debated. While younger learners depend on teachers for care, university students are expected to be independent. This raises questions about the obligation of university teachers to display caring behavior. Some lecturers view care as important, while others consider it unnecessary or even harmful.
The support dimension is another key aspect of the teacher-student relationship. Lecturers characterize good relationships with students as honest, respectful, trustworthy, safe, fair, encouraging, caring, and supportive (Fitzmaurice, 2008; Komarraju et al., 2010). However, the relationship must remain professional, with students understanding the boundaries of their academic roles. Overly close or informal relationships can be risky due to the hierarchical nature of the relationship (Holmes, Rupert, Ross & Shapera, 1999).
Dysfunctional Dynamics and Rebuilding Trust
A parent's question on Edutopia, "What do you do if the teacher-student relationship is basically dysfunctional?" highlights a common problem. Classrooms filled with yelling, detentions, and disrespect create a negative learning environment. Traditional behavior management tools often fail in such situations because the core issue is broken trust.
In high-stress environments, both students and teachers can become stuck in their "reptilian brain," the part of the nervous system responsible for survival responses. When this happens, rational conversations and consequences are ineffective. Creating a sense of physical and emotional safety is the first step toward rebuilding classroom culture.
Acknowledging the breakdown openly and professionally can model accountability and maturity. Instead of imposing new rules, teachers can guide students through a re-norming process, fostering ownership and investment. Traditional discipline focuses on punishment, while restorative practices emphasize understanding and collaboration.
Rebuilding a broken classroom is a long-term process that requires consistency, compassion, and patience. Blaming students, parents, or the system is counterproductive. The heart of teaching lies in relationships, and it is never too late to rebuild them with humility, honesty, and humanity.
Addressing Power Imbalances and Implicit Biases
Dating or sexual relationships between instructors and students are inherently problematic due to the unequal power dynamic, the instructor's responsibility to evaluate students objectively, the potential impact on colleagues and other students, and the erosion of trust and respect.
Where a conflict of interest exists, individuals should notify their supervisor, who will make arrangements to eliminate any potential detriment to the university or either party while maximizing educational and professional opportunities.
The student-professor relationship is a critical element of the undergraduate experience, capable of shaping a student's life. As a graduate student, I pursued pedagogical training and learned about different student typologies to prepare for office hour interactions. However, in reality, encouraging students to attend office hours requires effort.
Research suggests that class background, race, and gender impact how students engage with professors. Students may exhibit appreciative ease, hesitant appreciation, or critical suspicion. Upper-class students tend to be comfortable and strategic in their interactions, while class under-resourced students may be hesitant and anxious. Some students may be critical and suspicious, particularly those in the middle of the class hierarchy.
It is important to recognize that professors can also be challenging, antagonistic, and critical. Some may hold negative beliefs about students' laziness or trustworthiness. Devon Price reminds us that laziness does not exist, and there are always underlying reasons for a student's behavior.
The mental health of both professors and students is crucial for a positive classroom experience. Professional boundaries are important, but caring about students regardless of their behavior is essential. High-stakes university experiences can be racist, classist, and sexist, and should be reconsidered. Creating low-stakes learning experiences can decrease stress and build trust.
We can encourage students to attend office hours and prioritize our own mental health to genuinely welcome students to class. As students and faculty are the primary building blocks of a university, our co-existence legitimizes the institution.
Sweet Nothings: Unpacking Consensual Relationships in the #MeToo Era
Madison Griffiths's book, "Sweet Nothings," explores the complexities of consensual relationships between professors and students, particularly in the context of the #MeToo movement. Griffiths's own experience with a university tutor inspired her to investigate these dynamics.
Griffiths interviewed women who had been in relationships with professors or tutors, focusing on relationships that occurred at university, where both parties were adults. Her interest lay in the grey area where sex is not against the law or university policy but can leave a lasting impact.
Griffiths examines how men in positions of authority can appeal to younger women, highlighting the agency of the women involved while also acknowledging the potential for exploitation. Some men may appear "vile, dull and obvious" for using their power to get with women who would not otherwise be interested.
The revelation that they may have been part of a pattern, rather than a unique connection, can be deeply damaging to women. So too can the realization that a man they once idolized made their relationship about sex when they craved mentorship and validation.
Griffiths draws inspiration from Lisa Taddeo's "Three Women" and Helen Garner's "The First Stone," aiming to provide a different perspective than Garner's cynical account. Griffiths centers her story on the women involved, recognizing the importance of their voices.
Griffiths challenges the notion that university students are always capable and therefore unable to be victimized. That disregard for uni students, paired with the innate respect professors enjoy, has muddied understandings of power and allowed men at universities to do what they like. Despite rules against student-teacher relationships at most universities, they are often open to interpretation and may not apply to relationships that begin after the student is no longer in the professor's class. The origin story of these relationships, having once met in the classroom, pervaded the relationships at their core. The women she spoke to remained eager to impress or prove themselves to their former teachers, forever affording them the upper hand.
tags: #professor #student #relationship #dynamics
