Crafting a Compelling College Essay: Examples and Guidance

The college application process often hinges on the personal essay, a piece of writing that can feel like a monumental task. This article aims to provide guidance and inspiration by exploring various college essay examples and offering insights into what makes them effective. It will also address common pitfalls and offer practical advice for crafting an essay that showcases your authentic self.

The Significance of the College Essay

The college essay serves as a crucial component of your application. It allows admissions committees to gain a deeper understanding of you beyond your academic record and test scores. The essay gives schools a feel for how a student writes, but it's the content of the essay that matters most, admissions professionals say. It's a chance to add depth to something that is important to you and tell the admissions committee more about your background or goals. It provides a platform to showcase your personality, values, and unique perspectives. As Allen Koh, CEO of Cardinal Education, puts it, "The best essays, the ones that really pop, are the ones that come across as authentic and you really hear the student's voice." The goal of the essay is to make a strong case for why you’re different from all the other applicants, not necessarily why you’re better, he adds.

Finding Your Voice and Tone

Many schools give students a wide range of topics to choose from, which experts say can be beneficial in helping students find their voice. While you want your voice to be apparent, it's wise to be aware of your tone. It's best to avoid using sarcasm because it tends to fail on college essays. Any humor used "really has to be a very positive, witty humor, not sarcastic," which he says can be hard to pick up on in an essay.

It's also important to remember the "genuine likability test." According to Koh, "Sometimes kids are so busy trying to brag or tell their story that they’re forgetting they have to sound like a likable person. That’s a very simple test, but it’s really important." Good essays tend to be "positively emotional," he says. Graves says, start early and take time to write it yourself, then "actually read it out loud to someone … to listen to the rhythm and words as they are 'read.'"

The Perils of Using AI

Choosing the right tone can be a challenge for many students, but admissions pros encourage them not to take shortcuts to completing their essay. Though some college professors have embraced artificial intelligence tools like ChatGPT in their classrooms, Strickler says he's begun to stress in recent talks with high school audiences the importance of original work and avoiding the use of AI tools like ChatGPT to craft college essays. While it might produce a technically well-written essay and save time, your unique voice will be stripped away, and it may leave a bad impression on admissions offices as well as prevent them from truly getting to know you, he says.

Examples of Successful Essays and Their Strengths

Examining successful college essays can provide valuable insights into effective writing strategies and compelling storytelling. Here are a few examples and analyses:

The Power of a Pink Notebook

Each spring on his admissions blog, Graves shares an enrolling student's essay and why it was strong. One such essay begins: "If you asked me what object I’d save in a burning fire, I’d save my notebook. My notebook isn’t just any notebook, it’s bubble gum pink with purple tie dye swirls, and has gold coil binding it together. But more importantly, it’s the key that unlocked my superpower, sending me soaring into the sky, flying high above any problems that could ever catch me. However, my notebook is simply the key. My real power rests in the depths of my mind, in my passion for writing."

The student continues by recounting how, inspired by her father’s terminal illness, she wrote a 6-word memoir: “Take his words, don’t take him”. This experience ignited her passion for writing. She concludes by stating that she needed her powers more than ever before, to convey who she truly is for the chance at the future of her dreams as a writer. Except this time, she didn’t need the key because her powers grew into fruition.

Koh says this style of storytelling, which shows not just the triumph at the end but also the conflict, struggle and evolution in between, makes for great essays. "The student also used an intriguing timeline (counting down years and month) to tell their story, and showed how she had grown," Graves says.

The Bookshelf as a Reflection of Self

This next essay, by an anonymous writer and shared on Connecticut College's admissions page, "manages to capture multiple aspects of the writer's personality, while not becoming overly cluttered or confusing," writes Susanna Matthews, associate director of admission at the school. Every person who truly knows me believes that I was born in the wrong century. They call me "an old soul" because I'm a collector, attracted to books, antiques, vinyl records and anything from the 80's. But they also think I am unique in other ways.

Read also: Phoenix Suns' New Center

The writer describes their bookshelf, explaining that when they moved into their first American house, the first thing I knew I needed was a place to organize my most cherished possessions I have collected throughout my life. I searched and finally found a bookshelf with twenty-five thick sections that I could build and organize alphabetically … Each shelf holds important objects from different parts of my life. These books are a strong connection to my Brazilian heritage. The writer continues on, describing the types of books on each shelf, from Harry Potter to books used to learn English. They describe the bottom of the bookshelf housing some of their most prized possessions, like an old typewriter their grandfather gave them. As I grab my favorite Elvis vinyl to play, I can only wonder about the next chapter of my life.

Matthews writes, "By placing one subject (the bookshelf) at the center of the piece, it lends some flexibility to layer in much more detail than if they had tried to discuss a few different interests in the essay. You learn a lot about the person, in a way that isn't in your face - a great thing when trying to write a personal essay."

Embracing Originality

Another successful essay begins with the line: "I won “Most Original” pumpkin at a Halloween party years ago. I have the “Most Original” award. It’s a consolation prize." The writer goes on to explain their complicated relationship with the concept of originality, describing how they tried to be a typical student in their hometown of New Haven, Connecticut. However, after moving to Berkeley for six months, they learned the value of originality. The author writes, "Those who celebrate their individuality are not only unique but strong."

This writer’s style clearly shows off her sense of humor. If one of the purposes of a college essay is to make yourself come to life off the page, then this essay hits the mark. Far from seeming unfinished or unedited, the somewhat stream-of-consciousness style establishes a humorous and self-deprecating tone that makes the reader instantly like the applicant.

The Comfort of the Kitchen

Another essay begins with the line: "The sweet smell of cinnamon resonated through the house. A wave of heat washed over my face as I opened the oven door to reveal my first batch of snickerdoodles." The writer connects the warmth of a kitchen filled with the buttery smell of pastry to a feeling of utter relaxation.

Read also: About Grossmont Community College

This essay doesn’t share many life-defining revelations; we learn, as a brief aside, that the author often cared for her younger siblings, but little beyond that. Yet despite its relative lack of major information, it reveals a lot about who the author is. We learn that the author knows how to turn a phrase, the author is a warm and caring person, the author has a sense of humor, and the author will bring us cookies if we admit her to our imaginary college.

Supplemental Essays: Answering Specific Questions

Some colleges require a supplemental essay in addition to the personal statement. Typically, admissions pros note, these essays are shorter and focus on answering a specific question posed by the college. The University of Chicago in Illinois allows students to submit essay prompts as inspiration for the admissions office and gives students some latitude in how they answer them. Essay prompts range from questions about the school itself to asking students to pick a question from a song title or lyric and give their best shot at answering it. "They can be approached with utter seriousness, complete fancy, or something in between."

While the University of Chicago says there is no strict word limit on its supplemental essays, other schools prefer brevity. For example, Stanford University in California asks students to answer several short questions, with a 50-word limit, in addition to answering three essay questions in 100 to 250 words. Georgia asks for a school-specific supplemental essay that's 200-300 words in addition to a 250- to 650-word personal essay. "Sometimes a shorter essay response is not as polished an essay, but instead is a more casual, more relaxed essay," Graves says. "In addition, sometimes a student needs to get to the point or be concise, and this helps see if they can give us their story without overdoing it."

Creative Approaches to Supplemental Essays

Other schools allow for a little more creativity in how the supplemental essay questions are answered. Babson College in Massachusetts, for example, gives students a 500-word limit to answer a prompt, or they can choose to submit a one-minute video about why they chose to apply to the school.

One student, Gabrielle Alias, chose to film a "day-in-the-life" video, which she narrated to answer the prompt, "Who Am I?" She says in the video, "Visiting campus twice, I know I could see myself as one of the many interesting, innovative, and enticing students that come out of Babson. But who am I you ask? I am a student. I am a reader. I am a researcher. I am a music lover. … I immediately smiled at the sight of my favorite board game. Babsonopoly. I love the combination of strategy and luck in this traditional family pastime."

Shiroki describes what she felt set Babson College apart from other schools, such as being surrounded by "sophisticated and mature individuals" and a tight-knit, entrepreneurial environment that would help her reach her career goals. It is natural for me to be in a small class where more than one language is spoken. I am accustomed to discussions with diverse viewpoints, open minds, and where differences are seen as advantages. I embrace my cultural uniqueness, and I will add my voice to the community. She notes that as she toured the campus and saw students studying, she could see herself as one of them, feeding off of their studious and entrepreneurial energy. Babson recognizes the potential of their students, and FME is a great way for young entrepreneurs like me to find our place in the business world and learn from our mistakes. I am capable of this challenge and will conquer it with tenacity. Now it’s my turn to pass go and collect my Babson acceptance letter.

Tips for Writing a Standout Essay

Babson College offers several tips for what make good essays, including a strong "hook" to engage the reader from the start and a topic that allows you to share something that's not as obvious on your application. Find your voice. Write about a topic that matters to you. Proofread extensively.

With both traditional essays and supplemental essays, Koh says it's best to write long and work with someone you trust to edit it down. Teachers, friends and parents can all be helpful proofreaders, but experts note that the student voice should remain intact. A good editor can help edit a long essay to keep the main message but with fewer words. “If I see 400 words, I know I’m a dozen drafts away from getting it to 650,” he says. “If I see 1200 words, we might just be one or two away. It’s at least going to be a shorter haul.”

Common App Essay Prompts

Luckily, the Common App gives you plenty of college essay ideas through the college essay topics it provides. Here are the current prompts:

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it.
The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure.
Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking?
Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way.
Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you?
Share an essay on any topic of your choice.

When looking at these prompts, you’ll note that they are all asking you to be reflective. As such, it matters less what you write about and more what deeper meaning the topic at hand has to you. Furthermore, note that prompt #7 allows you to submit an essay on any topic of your choice. There is no one-size-fits-all college application essay format.

What to Avoid

First, avoid the impulse to compare your life to other students’ stories in these Common App essay examples. These sample Common App essays are great tools because of the students’ reflections. It truly doesn’t matter what you write about so long as you can do it in a meaningful way that shows personal growth and self-awareness. Great personal statement sample essays can be written about the most mundane or common topics. So, don’t compare your life experiences with those of other students. Secondly, use these Common App essay examples to find inspiration for how you wish to tell your story. Do these Common App essay examples use dialogue that really makes a scene come to life? Maybe a few sample Common App essays discuss topics you hadn’t realized you could write about, giving you ideas for new college essay topics. Drawing inspiration from Common App essays that worked is distinct from copying their ideas or language. So, don’t try to imitate any of these essays.

Additional Tips for Elevating Your Essay

Responding effectively to college essay prompts is quite different from other essay writing. The combined challenge of addressing a question in an interesting way while avoiding clichés and making yourself stand out, all within a limited number of words, is something that students struggle with every year. With a wide variety of prompts used by each school, alongside the Common App essays, it can be overwhelming to write strong, memorable essays.

However, there are some standard practices that will help elevate your essay:

Directly address any questions the prompt asks. Be sure to include the answer to any questions and don't get distracted while providing context or other extra information.
Use specific information. Make sure to mention the specific volunteer program you worked at or the name of your favorite instructor from your summer STEM camp.
Create a narrative. Just like with any story or news article, you want to start your essays with a good hook.
Demonstrate fit. The best way to do this is by providing evidence to back up your claims about why their school is your “dream school,” or why their Biology major is “the perfect place” for you to prepare for a career in medicine.
Put yourself in your reader’s shoes. If you read your essay back to yourself and some of the descriptions sound trite or typical, these are spots that are ripe for improvement.
Remember the importance of tone and voice. The tone you choose should align with the content of your essay and the message you want to convey. Voice, on the other hand, is the unique way you express yourself through language.
Go through multiple drafts-and do so early.
Be vulnerable and show emotion. Letting these shine through in your essay demonstrates your passion, which engages your reader.

Examples of College Essays That Worked

Here are some examples of college essays that worked for Harvard University and Duke University:

College Essay Example #1 (Harvard University)

This essay focuses on a student's research experience at the University of Notre Dame's Research Experience for Undergraduates (REU) program. The student describes their work on cobalt iron oxide cored (CoFe2O3) titanium dioxide (TiO2) nanoparticles as a scaffold for drug delivery.

College Essay Example #2 (Harvard University)

This student believes that humans will always have the ability to rise above any situation, because life is what you make of it. They express their desire to live life daily, with an optimistic attitude that every day is a second chance.

College Essay Example #3 (Duke University)

This essay describes a student's experience shadowing doctors in the operating room and encountering a patient with gangrene-rotted tissue. The experience exposed an entirely different side of this profession I hope to pursue.

tags: #college #essay #examples